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So I’m in the Lone Star state again. This time I’m here to visit family, eat a hell of a lot of good food, and party with my dad as he closes out a 37 year career in law enforcement in this area. But he’s not quite ready to take up the rocking chair just yet. He has one more big adventure planned before he decides to retire his sidearm (if any true Texas law man ever can!)
He decided that he wanted to serve his country and at 57 he joined the Army. Ok, he didn’t exactly join the army, but that’s what he likes to say. He’s signed on to work for a private contractor that sends civilians with unique skills to Iraq and Afghanistan to aid the military in a variety of ways. He will be going as an investigative expert and basically continue to solve crimes. And he’ll do this for the next 12 months. There’s obviously quite a few more details, but I’m still uncertain about how this new chapter will play out here in my little nook of cyberspace.
But before he ships out we are having a big ol’ texas size retirement party complete with bar-b-que and good beer. And I couldn’t show up down here empty handed. Because my Pop is a music man (his own band is playing at his retirement party) I thought I would make him something he could use, especially with the gift my mom got him: The Martin Backpacker Guitar. I couldn’t think of a better gift than that guitar. I think the emotional value that a little music, entertainment and taste of home will bring to the battalion of soldiers he’s stationed with will far outweigh any monetary price or physical weight. B & I have the backpacker guitar and we really like how light and portable the thing is. That said, I decided to make a custom strap for the thing, and since Camo is the chic color palate this season in combat zones, I figured I would give in and go with the trend!
Looking at it now, I wish I had embroidered something special on it, but I guess I can always make a new one and send it to him at Christmas.
It’s going to be a whole week of gifts. I’m also working on a mini family look-book (to remind him just how crazy we all are and that he may want to reconsider coming home! ) I’m also celebrated two very good family friends who are going to be mommas and one of them real soon! We’ve also got a formal ceremony to attend today at the court house and an informal office party on Friday and then the big kahuna on Sunday.
Needless to say I’ll be busy and trying to get in as much quality time as possible. He deploys on the 22nd of this month…just over a week now.
My sister is a magazine junkie (who isn’t really?). While staying at her place she convinced me to yield my aversion of fashion mags & consider reading Vanity Fair. I genuinely thought VF was for people who recognized “Page 6″ hoity-toities and label-lovers. Well, wasn’t I chagrined when she passed the oh-so-handsome Johnny Depp into my lap. Let me tell you, this magazine is not just for the fashion-conscience, it’s quite pedantic in it’s own right. I also feel like VF is always quoted on the news, radio, etc., and now I know why. I love how culturally expository this periodical is. July’s issue offers one of the best perspectives I’ve heard of the Bernie Madoff scandal (much less the fabulous 6+page interview with Johnny Depp — who I now want to be best friends with). And although I may have to wade through 20 pages of annoying adds before I can even find the table of contents, I think it’s worth it. The content is just as provocative as its visual counterpart. I already ordered my two-year subscription. (It was only $20!)
Today is the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre. I can’t believe that China (mainland) still refusues to recognize that so many were killed. I don’t understand how a culture that has a picture of a scantily-clad movie star advertising jewelry on the side of a public bus, can still be living like it’s the middle ages. I encountered so many wonderful people in Beijing each with a personal voice and unique story to share. It’s so interesting to me the ideas that the government chooses to supress and the others it lets in. I can’t wrap my brain around it.
I so very much enjoyed my time at Tiananmen Square. I could have stayed all day just people watching. It was such a strange feeling to be on the other side of “majority” as a young, American female. It took a little getting used all the staring and picture taking, but I had to embrace it or go crazy! What I loved is that I felt like I was able to communicate with lots of people w/o ever saying a word. Smiling really is a universal symbol that can disarm just about anyone. I liked feeling like I had my own little United Nations meeting helping to gap the cultural divide.
I can’t imagine seeing a 40-story building on fire in the middle of beijing. If the news reports are correct it is the mandarin oriental hotel that was on fire. The financial district of beijing is so congested, but I guess it’s like any other major metropolis, but with buildings that blow your mind. In the first picture below, the main building is the new CCTV building that the Chinese are so proud of. I think that the building just to the left of the new TV building is the hotel that burned. The second photo is a view from my second hotel room (The Shangri-La Kerry Centre). I think the way I’m positioned here has the mandarin oriental hotel on the other side of the TV building. The architectural accomplishments of Beijing are astonishing. Size, shape — it’s all relative. It’s such a pity to see so many months of hard labor literally go up in smoke. I hope everyone is ok.
I’ve also attached a couple of other interesting architectural sights I saw along the way…
***Just an interesting FYI. The locals call the new CCTV building the ‘underwear building’ b/c it looks like a pair of men’s boxers. Hilarious.
I’m surprised by how excited i’ve been about just watching today’s big events on t.v. i’m so glad to be a part of this wonderful day in our history. after the day’s events subside, i think i’m going to dive right into a new book I picked up yesterday. I have a feeling I will devour this as quickly as I did my last book.
“The history of American women is all about leaving home — crossing oceans and continents, or getting jobs and living on their own. Some of our national heroines were defined by the fact that they never nested — they were peripatetic crusaders… The center of our story is the tension between the yearning to create a home and the urge to get out of it.”
I think I’m going to like this book.
*********Post Script***********
I surprised myself again by tearing up several times today. I am so proud to be part of such a wonderful country; I feel so fortunate to be alive and grateful… for so much!
I can’t believe what hurricanes can do. The most recent, Ike, left it’s mark on SE Texas, where my family lives. Although my family was quite fortunate, there were many other that were not. I’m always amazed at how many reporters try to get coverage in they eye of the storm and there is all this build up…the wind blows, the rain falls… then it stops. And they leave. The irony is that is when the real news begins. People surviving. People having to uproot their lives. What do you do when you don’t have insurance? When you get paid hourly at a job? What about the prisoners? Patients in hospitals? Mail? Over a million people are without power. My family alone will be without power for at least 2 weeks and they’re saying that it will be more like 4. And the neighbor just to the east, Bridge City, how will they recover when it’s still under water? I know several people who lost EVERYTHING… it’s so quite surreal. And how interesting that the same few pictures get recirculated every hour on CNN between the story of some celebrities latest faux pas and who’s outraging Nancy Grace today. Come on Cooper… where did you go?
Here are some photos of what is currently happening for recovery efforts.
this was the beach I grew up going to. (Crystal Beach)
this is why you shouldn’t walk around in flood waters (Sabine Pass)
How awful. This was taken in Orange, Texas.
Photos were orinally uploaded from here.
This is my last week at work. And it seems that I’ve been reduced to an emotional cripple as I continue to have emotional outbursts at random moments throughout the day. You might think I’m completely hormonal as I have ecstatic highs and then seemingly without a trigger begin to cry.
I guess I haven’t begun to process it all yet. I have hardly written in my own journal and I certainly haven’t had time to craft a thing. I’m not only preparing for my vocational transition, but I am also going on a spiritual pilgrimage if you will.
My husband and I are leaving Saturday for England with six high school youths from our church. We are truly a hodgepodge group as we journey together, each coming from a different place, wanting to achieve a different goal, but alas, all arriving at the same place. Together, but differently. We will walk about 40 miles of the old Pilgrim’s Way, or Canterbury Trail. We will stay in hostels and churches and even an old barn. The week will culminate with our (hopeful) attendance of a session or two of the Lambeth Conference. This is a once every 10 year U.N. meeting of bishops from around the world. Pretty cool if you’re into the whole Anglican/Episcopal thing. I’ve said it before, but for myself, it’s like going home to the mothership.
I’m too tired and too contemplative to put it all into words. The logistics of packing snacks for 9 people, training my replacement at work and preparing my house for my house-sitter have overridden my ability to put my thoughts into a linear structure. And all of that coupled with the fact that end a three year commitment on Friday and begin a new career the day after our return … crazy.
I’ll have time to think about it all one day. Right now I need to finish packing and go to bed.
(photo courtesy of Destination 360)
…then it probably is. Yep, my girl hero is a fraud. She is a sponsored stunt woman for Gatorade. I’m not upset that I’ve been duped, but rather that I knew what would come out of my co-workers mouth…and it did:
“See, I knew a girl couldn’t really do that.”
Whether you’re a sports fan or not, this girl is awesome! I love how smooth she is! Her athletic prowess is beyond her years.
I started this book last night as I crawled into bed. It was all I could do to put it down and go to sleep. I’m already loving it. I can’t wait to read again today at lunch!
I spent some creative energy on making a page today that will help remind me that there are bigger problems in the world than my own. I have enjoyed my time with Women for Women International. It is an organization that empowers women to become their own advocate through vocational & life skills training. My first sister was from Kosovo and she was my age. She graduated from the program in March & now I have a new sister, Gjzide. I love the idea that somehow I might actually be making a real difference in the life of another woman who desperately needs it. I can’t wait to exchange letters with this woman, my sister.
dilemma: (noun)
a discussion with a colleague resolved her dilemma. quandary, predicament, Catch-22, vicious circle, plight, mess, muddle; difficulty, problem, trouble, perplexity, confusion, conflict; informal no-win situation, fix, tight spot, tight corner, can of worms.
Some may not consider my situation a dilemma at all. Last week was a crazy week, particularly because I began having unusual health problems. Three EKGs, one chest X-ray & a stress-echo later I’m sure my cardiologist is going to tell me tomorrow that I should have just popped a pepcid and saved my money.
During my week of chest pains, heart flutters and other uncomfortable endeavors I began to examine my life and in specific my lifestyle choices. I find it ironic that I’m pretty non-negotiable about drinking organic milk and eating organic eggs, but I pump myself full of hormones every day…and I have been for the last 12 years. Here in lies the pickle: do I continue to subject myself to hormones and who knows what else, or risk getting pregnant?
I have several friends using the Fertility Awareness Method and they love it (for different reasons). I have read a good chunk of this amazingly informative text-book (that I believe every woman should read); however, the method itself seems so involved…at least more involved than what I’m willing to put forth, especially since it’s not 100% (although I bet the author and my friends would disagree). I consider it not 100% because you can still get pregnant via lack of self-control or failed barrier method (not b/c the method itself is flawed.)
The patch (or other forms: the pill, etc.) seems to be the only way I am guaranteed to not get pregnant. And my desire to not have children far outweighs my thoughts and feelings on my personal health, particularly when those health risks associated with hormones are so diverse depending on who you talk to.
It may sound crazy, but it’s where I am in my journey right now and I’m trying to decide what’s best for myself & my husband. We both want so much out of life & it just doesn’t include children; but am I doing some irreparable damage to my body that I’ll only know about 30 years from now & is it worth the risk???
I found out that April is national:
poetry month, autism month, minority health month, soy month, home inspection month, donate life month, landscape architecture month, volunteer month, garden month, orchid month, child abuse awareness month
I had a friend in grad school whose poignant observation made me pause. Upon spending time together he noticed a pattern with my life; one day mid-sentence he cut me off, looked at me and said, “You carry around so much guilt. How does your guilt serve you?” I of course wanted to give a quick answer, and because he knew me well, he preempted me with an immediate hand over my mouth. He instructed me to really think about it before I responded. Several months later it came to me. It truly was one of those profound moments in my life. I realized that:
Guilt Motivates Me.
It wasn’t love of others or love of God but rather guilt that got me up off my lazy ass to do anything. I felt guilty about not being a good daughter, good enough student, friend, not eating right, staying up too late, you name it. I felt like the only reason I did anything was so that I wouldn’t feel bad about it later (but I would still probably kick myself for something I could have done differently.) I still struggle with guilt; we are after all a guilt culture. I hope that even though I am still quite hard on myself, my guilt is not my motivation. I know I am not alone in this.
A very dear friend of mine sent me an email today and she too confessed that she is carrying around way too much guilt…for silly things. As she listed off her inequities, a few of mine reared their heads. However defeated she may have sounded she boldly proclaimed at the end of her email that she is starting a No Guilt Campaign.
April is now: National Guilt Free Month. So go ahead, give yourself a little breathing room. You’re not a bad person because you didn’t do laundry like you said you would or because you ate that second box of cookies, or because you spent too much time on-line. I want to act from a place of love and receive the same type of love I hope to give. Here’s to being guilt free!
Today is International Women’s Day. It’s not quite as popular in the States, however all across the world today women are celebrated much like they are on Mother’s Day. Check out the website to learn more about women’s issues around the world and the history of progress for such an important topic. If you feel so inspired you can also turn your well wishes and thoughts into action by supporting a woman with the international non-profit Women for Women.
Peace Sisters!
Check out USA Today’s Candidate Match Game. You might be surprised with the results.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/candidate-match-game.htm
